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Source: carly Palmer
When you embark on the journey of self-discovery often it will be a time of despair when life forces you to evaluate your existence, pushing you into searching for meaning and substance. The beginning of the journey is frightfully daunting and then it becomes exciting as you discover more possibilities about your potential.
My perpetual journey ebbs and flows like the tides. Mostly, my wish is to live on my blissful highs of clarity, understanding, love and creativity but like all cycles there is perpetual change and without the change and fluctuation there would be no potential for growth. So my new awareness has risen from my latest low ebb of wanting to speed up time and the feeling of angst that I get from wanting to transition from one place to another.
When I can see before me all of the inherent possibilities of life I become so enthralled with the idea that I then become sad and anxious that I cannot have my life that way NOW. Within this feeling I have discovered a lesson in learning to ride the ebbs and flow mindfully aware of my changing cycles and to look at my life with a global awareness. Somehow within this lesson I have a greater understanding of universal time versus my narrow-minded linear time. If I wish to rush into the next stage of my evolution I would miss the integral lessons that can be found within the most miniscule, monotonous or frightfully challenging every day experiences.
It is during the low ebb I am reminded that to take care and further myself I need to step back from the daily grind and find my own pace in order to rediscover my internal compass. When we are dealing with our own internal demons plus overworked with trying to achieve other peoples unrealistic goals, vexed by working within societies ever increasing tight boundaries of right and wrong and poorly structured policies we are stuck in the low ebb of our life. This is where I have found myself lately. Blessed with a vision and an awareness but stuck on trying to manifest the vision now. The more I focus on not having the vision that I want, the more room I leave to focus on what is wrong around me. To be honest this material, stressed and overworked society gets to me when I am feeling depleted. I struggle with finding the balance between living in a materialistic increasingly expensive society and living my life free to create and love the life that I have chosen.
I have often imagined what life would be like if we didn’t have to work so much then we could be deeper thinkers contributing to the greater good of society. As much as this is an idealistic and very unrealistic view I do stand by my opinion that most of us work too much with little productivity and satisfaction at the end of the day. More often than not the policies and regulations that we strive to uphold in our daily work lives are merely inhibiting our creative growth and potential to overcome problems mindfully and simplistically. Instead of working together to solve and overcome problems, policies become more of a claim to title and power play for those involved at the top of the decision making ladder. I only wish that we all stepped out side of ourselves more often to see the cause and effect of our actions and the implications that our decisions have on our future and productivity. Here is a good example of ‘policy in shambles’ written by a dear friend Trish
Even if we all got hit by lightening and become deep thinkers in residence overnight, thinking and creating is futile without the fortitude of working to manifest the creation and vision. What we need is to find a balance within ourselves. If we find the deep thinking creative genius and introduce him/her to the dedicated worker we could learn to create and manifest our personal dreams then learn to share them with others.
Part of the process of evolution that I see necessary is abolishing the idea of the decision making ladder within work and home. We live by a democratic government where all citizens have an equal say in the decisions that effect their lives. I wish to point out that in my experience most government departments, corporations or private enterprise do not operate democratically. Usually the decisions are made by those higher up the ladder and are handed down mindlessly to the workers without consultation, or discussion is a formality to cover what is already a foregone conclusion. This also goes for family hierarchy where one or two people control with manipulation and power of intimidation to rule over the rest of the family and so as to rein tight control over decisions and outcomes. Let me also point now to my foes, the Woolworths and Coles of this world. We live in a democratic society run by business and corporate bodies that are less than democratic in their values.
Despite my negative spin, lately I have been reminded on more than one occasion at how much the structure of our society has changed for the better over the last century. Workers rights, living conditions, women’s liberation, democracy, technology, medical advancement, fair trade, the green movement when I step aside from my narrow vision of how stuck I think the world is in terms of values, materialism and wasting resources I can see a bigger and brighter future. I can see just how far we have developed as people and a human race that for its chasm and internal fighting has a deep love and respect for all. Enough to get us to the next stage of evolution if we could find our own internal compass just enough so we could focus on the substance and the inherent creative brilliance within us all.
This is where I want to bridge the gap and pin point that self reflection is almost impossible when we are so outwardly focused on money, controlling outcomes by using manipulating tactics or focusing our energy on policies and practices that we do not agree with. This is the point where I find myself stuck. By focusing on the negatives around me that I perceive to be holding me back I need to focus inwardly and see the larger story that is unfolding universally without my control or awareness.
Look at all of the changes and experiences within your life, both good and bad, from the beginning towards the end of your own journey on this earth you can see that everything was necessary and in fact your life is orchestrated with perfect synchronicity. Often the worst mistakes purge you into higher awareness of yourself if you are willing to learn from the lesson and accept your fate. The history of our evolution is exactly the same.
With this new awareness I am going to look at the world around me with much love and be thankful that I am experiencing life on this planet now and not as it were 100 years ago when I would have little opportunity to voice my opinion as a woman that is not born into a certain class of people. I am intellectually and sexually free to be me without purgatory. Education and health care is readily available to me. I am safe, healthy and happy. I have choices and I am in control of my life.
We are all an exciting piece in the puzzle of the earth’s evolution. Our ancestors before us suffered just as we feel we are suffering now only we are far more advanced and safe as a race then they ever were. Because of them we are globalised, we live longer, we have an abundance of food and shelter, we have rights and we can voice our opinion without fear of death or punishment. Without war, violence and upheaval we wouldn’t have most of the medical advances and technology available to us today. Now I see that just as I get to make mistakes and learn from them so do we as a global community. I can now view the world’s evolution differently and see that every perceived bad was necessary to get us over the next stage of development. I will not promote war but past wars are responsible for most of our medical and technological advances as well as study of the mind. The point that I want to make is that we need to learn from our mistakes. Without the past and the mistakes both personally and globally we would not evolve to see the error of our ways and be able to build a brighter future.
I think that the most important point to make is that we now have full control over our lives. I know that I often feel overwhelmed and out of control in my own life during the low ebb of my tide but now with my new awareness I want to give thanks for everything that I have been given through the hard work of those before me and give thanks that I have the gifts within me to create a better future for those not yet born of this world. I am reminded that each day is lesson to learn about my emotional behaviour and patterns, breaking free from inherent rules and regulations, monitoring cycles (especially for us women) and speaking my truth. If each day I focus on loving and discovering myself instead of focusing outwardly then over a course of a year imagine what I could gain from my life experience.
Linear time that we live by has no correlation to ever expanding universal time. Linear time feels out of our control, helpless, and makes us think we can only adapt to this 'reality'. One day of our lives is but a mere salt grain on the infinite ever-expanding time of the universe. You only need to compare the advances over the last century and see what has been achieved globally and it is phenomenal. A century is not that long ago. My great grandfather was alive until my teenage years and he was born in the late 1800’s. Now compare that to 1 year of your life. The ebbs and flow of your own life and the time you spend focusing on the trivial is meaningless and wasted time we could all use creating and loving. Now compare that to one day of your life and use this repeated sentence as your daily conscious assertion If each day I focus on loving and discovering myself instead of focusing outwardly then over a course of a year imagine what I could gain from my life experience.
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